Why you don't need a coach.

Why you don't need a coach.

It has been a jaw-dropping ten months since my last blog post. In those months my life was stretched and twisted—in some ways familiar and in other ways new. Now I’ve returned to my computer and noticed that things have shifted for me; things have shifted so much that I now realize I don’t want to be another voice among a myriad of voices asking people to be better with a conveniently placed link of what I offer to sell you. Enough with this marketing barrage and enough with the shame that sinks in when we feel we are somehow not measuring up. The truth is, living in this modern world is hard; at times, it can be really fucking hard. The loss of loved ones, the end of relationships, unhealthy relationships, worry about work, children, finances, never-ending demands, illness, climate change, geopolitical uncertainty—the list can be endless. Right?

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Choose your own pace: Tips for navigating a culture of busy.

Choose your own pace: Tips for navigating a culture of busy.

Often when I share with others that I help people to slow down and become more intentional in their day-to-day life, I hear a response that sounds something like this:

“I would love to slow down, but I can’t. There is really no time or space in my life for me to take the time I need.”

I get it. Life is busy. Raising kids, running a household, maintaining one’s health, being a good friend, excelling at work—they all take time, focus and energy and it can feel like we don’t have any control over the demands placed on us. But the truth is, regardless of how busy our life is, each of us has the power to make an intentional and deliberate choice about how we approach it.

We all have the power to choose.

So, if you are currently finding your life busy, overwhelming or exhausting, there is one important question you might want to ask yourself:

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Slow Down: A mindful approach to living in a culture of speed.

Slow Down: A mindful approach to living in a culture of speed.

Think back on your day yesterday. If you were to choose a word to describe its pace, what would it be? Frantic? Rushed? Hectic? A complete blur? (Okay, that is more than one word). Now, think back on your last week. Can you see a theme emerging in how your days are unfolding?

When I am caught up in the busyness or distractedness of life, a lot of shame bubbles up. Why am I not a better ..............  (insert any of the following: friend, partner, coach, facilitator, business owner, sister, aunt, community member)? In all of the rush, it can feel like I am not enough, that I am somehow falling short or missing the mark in some or all areas of my life.  

 

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Finding the nobility in others.

Finding the nobility in others.

If you have lived on this planet long enough, it is likely you have days or moments that are as clear today as they were when they happened. One such memory for me was during my time at university in the 90s. I was in my second year, it was a spring morning and I was late for class. As I hurriedly wove my way around and through the other people walking to campus, I heard someone behind me shout out my name. I turned my head and found my friend Carolyn waving. In that moment I realized, in my rush, I had sped right past her on the sidewalk without even a glimmer of recognition. I gave her a big smile and a curt wave and turned around like a woman on a mission.

“Sorry, no time for a chat. I need to get to class,” I shouted into the air, “but let’s visit soon!”

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You are what (and how) you eat.

You are what (and how) you eat.

It was not until I found myself recovering from adrenal fatigue that I started to realize how important food is in supporting optimal health and wellbeing. Before that, if you had asked me, I would have told you that I was a healthy eater (and I was…mostly). I ate sustainably as much as I could, I steered clear of processed foods and tried my best to choose foods that were nutritious. Yet, there I was, sitting in a naturopath’s office and listening to the results from a myriad of tests that all seemed to confirm that my body was depleted, that I was not adequately absorbing the nutrients in my food.

“You need to not only focus on what you put into your body”, she said to me, “but you need to pay attention to how you put food into your body”.

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Why less is more: Thoughts on living a reduced life.

Why less is more: Thoughts on living a reduced life.

In late August I headed back home, along with my three siblings, to surprise my father for his 80th birthday. It was a surprise that lacked all the regular fan fair. Spouses and grandchildren were left behind (in the various provinces and states they call home). There were no balloons, no presents and not even a cake. The gift was our presence with each other; time spent together, live and in the flesh. For three days, we simply went about living together. We chatted over coffee, went for walks, ate good food and visited some of the local attractions in our home town (fish derby, winery, local park). It was just the six of us for the first time in more than 25 years, and this fact alone was enough to captivate all of us.

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Go barefoot! An argument for ditching your shoes this summer...

Go barefoot! An argument for ditching your shoes this summer...

Last week, I headed out into the Canadian backcountry for a few days of hiking, camping and detoxing (from technology, that is). Our packs were loaded with everything we would need for a few days, and we headed up the trail to a series of lakes that would be our final destination. An hour into the hike, and after a brief discussion about the benefits of walking barefoot, our hiking shoes were off and we found ourselves navigating the trail barefoot (with fully loaded backpacks, I might add).

Now I must admit, when it was first suggested that we hike barefoot, all I could think about were the potential risks. I am, after all, a North American and former outdoor educator who is used to mitigating risk in the outdoors with protection and protocol. 

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Pay attention, be astonished.

Pay attention, be astonished.

You may recall the 2007 story of internationally renowned American classical musician Joshua Bell performing as a busker in Washington D.C.’s Union Station. It was a social experiment orchestrated by Washington Post writer Gene Weingarten to see if people would pay attention to a world-class musician playing in an unexpected location. For 45 rush-hour minutes, Bell gave an all-out musical performance. He played some of the world’s most intricate pieces on his 3.5-million-dollar violin and later noted that it had been some of his best work. Only six people stopped to listen to Bell that day and the musician (who is used to filling concert halls) made a total of $32.00. 

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On Being Fierce.

On Being Fierce.

Last week I had a phone conversation with a woman who is powerful beyond measure. She is a leader, a problem solver, and someone who others look to for inspiration and guidance. This woman’s vulnerability was palpable. She was clearly feeling worn down by the weight of overwhelm and exhaustion, brought on by staying too long at a job that demands too much. On the day we spoke, she had had enough. Enough of being the one to put out the fires. Enough of being there for everyone else. Enough of a system that didn’t recognize her humanity.

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Harnessing mindfulness: A lesson in slowing down

Harnessing mindfulness: A lesson in slowing down

Last week, I headed into the heart of British Columbia, on a rock climbing trip.

At the outset, the trip was designed around the desire to take advantage of the warmer and drier climate of B.C.’s interior as a kick-start to the climbing season. Now make no mistake, I am not really a climber. At least, in the past seven years (or so), my love for riding my mountain bike has far eclipsed my desire to climb on rock. But in a previous time, climbing was something I loved to do. I was drawn to the presence that it required. For me, the perceived (and sometimes very real) risk of falling allowed me to access a quality of focus I struggled to connect with in the rest of my life. 

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